Don’t Text Your Ex
Do This Spell Instead
By Sarah Kulkens | Spiritual Guide and Metaphysical Expert at Kerry Kulkens Magic Shop
Breakups are never easy, and the temptation to reach out to an ex is one of the most universally shared experiences post-separation. Whether it’s a simple "Hey" or a long-winded confession, the urge to send that text usually strikes in the quietest, most vulnerable hours. Late at night. After a holiday. During a wave of nostalgia that blurs the pain of the past.
It feels innocent enough. Just one message. Just one moment of connection. But spiritually speaking, texting your ex can be a serious energetic misstep, a form of self-sabotage dressed up as emotional honesty.
Let’s explore the deeper metaphysical implications of reaching back out, why the urge is so powerful, and what you can do instead to reclaim your energy and your self-worth.
Why You Shouldn't Text Your Ex (And What to Do Instead)
The Real Urge: You aren't reaching out for love; you are responding to dopamine withdrawal, an energetic vacuum, or astrological influences like Mercury Retrograde.
The Spiritual Cost: Texting an ex creates an energy leak, lowers your vibration to a frequency of lack, and resets your spiritual healing.
The Fix: Instead of texting, redirect your energy into metaphysical rituals like the Hoodoo Freezer Spell (to freeze the compulsion), the Obsidian Wall (to block psychic leaks), or the Glow-Up Pivot (to call your power back).
Understanding the Urge: It's Not What You Think
To shift a pattern, you first need to understand it. Most people who feel compelled to contact an ex aren’t acting out of love. They’re responding to withdrawal.
There are three common drivers behind this impulse:
Dopamine Withdrawal
When you were in the relationship, receiving attention from your partner released dopamine, the feel-good chemical. Without that stimulation, your brain craves a hit. Reaching out becomes a way to soothe withdrawal symptoms, not reconnect with a soulmate.
Energetic Vacuum
Your energy and your ex's were once entangled. After a breakup, that cord is severed, creating a void. That silence can feel overwhelming, and your ego wants to fill it even if doing so harms you.
Astrological Influences
During Mercury or Venus Retrograde, old relationships tend to resurface. It’s a cosmic illusion that makes you recall the highlights, not the heartbreaks. Recognise the planetary manipulation and resist it.
The Spiritual Price of Sending That Text
From a metaphysical perspective, every action involves an exchange of energy. Reaching out to your ex may seem trivial, but it sets off powerful, unseen consequences:
You create an energy leak.
Every message you send reactivates emotional cords that were beginning to dissolve. You redirect your life force back into the past, draining your ability to manifest new love or opportunities.
You lower your vibration.
Desperation emits a frequency of lack. When you text from a place of loneliness, you reinforce a reality where you are incomplete.
You reset your healing.
Just when your spirit begins to mend, texting your ex reopens the wound. It reattaches you to the old dynamic, making recovery harder each time.
Powerful Rituals to Break the Pattern
Instead of indulging the urge, channel your energy into one of the following metaphysical tools. These rituals transmute your heartbreak into power.
The Freezer Spell: Stop the Spiral
A simple yet potent hoodoo practice to freeze your compulsion.
You’ll need: Paper, pen, a small plastic container or ziplock bag, water, and a freezer.
Write your ex’s name on the paper.
Turn it 90 degrees and write your name across it, then cross it out.
Around the names, write: "I freeze this connection. The past is dead. I am free."
Fold the paper away from you and place it in the container.
Fill with water. Say: "As this freezes, so does my urge. I cool the heat. I freeze the pain."
Place in the freezer and visualise the bond becoming immobile.
The Obsidian Wall: Block Their Energy
Protect your aura from psychic leaks with this energetic barrier.
You’ll need: Your phone and a piece of Black Obsidian or Black Tourmaline.
Hold your phone, visualising a solid black wall between you and the device.
Place the crystal on the screen.
Declare: "This device is a portal for love and abundance only. I block all low vibrations. My energy stays here."
Leave the crystal in place for at least an hour. Let it absorb the emotional static.
The Glow-Up Pivot: Call Your Power Back
Transmute your obsession into self-love and radiant attraction.
You’ll need: a mirror, a red candle, and lipstick or face oil.
Light the red candle.
Look into the mirror. See your strength.
Say: "I call my power back from him. I call my love back from him."
Visualise golden energy returning to you.
Anoint your face or apply lipstick like sacred war paint.
Affirm: "I am the prize. I do not chase. I attract."
3D World Steps: Anchor the Magic in Reality
Spiritual work is most effective when paired with practical action. For the next 30 days:
Follow the 24-Hour Rule
If you feel the urge to text, wait a full day. Write the message in your notes, then revisit it the next morning. Most often, you'll be grateful you didn't send it.
Delete the Number
Block and erase it. If you have it memorised, give it to a trusted friend to hold for emergencies only.
Replace the Habit
Retrain your brain to seek dopamine in healthy ways. Try a new hobby, read, or connect with someone who uplifts you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Texting Your Ex
Q: Why do I suddenly feel the urge to text my ex?
A: The urge to text an ex is rarely about true connection. It is usually driven by dopamine withdrawal (missing the "feel-good" chemicals of attention), an energetic void left by the severed connection, or astrological influences like Venus or Mercury Retrograde, bringing the past back to the surface.
Q: What happens spiritually when you text an ex?
A: From a metaphysical perspective, reaching out to an ex creates an energy leak. It reactivates old emotional cords, drains your life force, and lowers your vibration by emitting a frequency of desperation and lack, which blocks new love from entering your life.
Q: How do you do a freezer spell to stop thinking about someone?
A: To freeze the compulsion to text an ex, write their name on a piece of paper, cross it out with your own name, and write your intention to be free. Place the folded paper in a small container of water, state your intention to cool the heat and freeze the pain, and place it in the back of your freezer.
Q: What crystal helps block an ex's energy?
A: Black Obsidian and Black Tourmaline are excellent crystals for blocking an ex's energy. You can place a piece of Black Obsidian directly on your phone while visualising a solid black wall to prevent psychic leaks and stop yourself from reaching out.
Q: How long should I wait if I feel the urge to text an ex? A: Always apply the 24-Hour Rule. If you feel a sudden, desperate urge to text an ex, write the message in your phone's notes app and force yourself to wait a full day. Usually, the energetic wave will pass, and you will be grateful you didn't send it.
Final Thoughts: You Are Worth More Than the Past
Choosing not to text your ex is a radical act of self-respect. Every time you resist the urge, you affirm your worth. You send a message to the Universe that you are no longer available for anything that diminishes your light.
You are not a backup plan. You are not a late-night impulse. You are not a convenience.
You are the whole damn spell.
Stay the course. Keep your energy intact. Let the past dissolve and make space for the love you truly deserve.
With strength and clarity,
Sarah Kulkens™
